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Joke of the Day
"Knock knock. Who's there? Grandpa. Shit, stop the funeral!!!!!"
Next Joke
"A guy wins a contest s] \ A guy wins a contest at home depot Home depot manager:""Alright sir for your prize would you rather have a ladder or 1 million dollars?"" Man:""I'll take the latter."""
"What's the best way to fuck a red-headed virgin? gingerly (wrote this today, if anyone has ever heard it or can find a past use, I am dying to know)"
"Do you know what the white stuff in bird poop is? More bird poop."
"I just gave my kid ice cream because she wouldn't stop crying. Sorry, whoever she winds up marrying."
"How come north Carolina is the bluest state? Raleigh scattering"
"My therapist asked me to stop wanking. I asked how long i should stop for... He said at least until i left his office"
"""are you a programmer?"" not really. me is more of an amateur grammar"
"How did the sloth become President of the tree? He slept his way to the top."
"You only live once, so don't forget to spend 16 hours every day on the internet, desperately searching for the validation of strangers."