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Joke of the Day

"My therapist asked me to stop wanking. I asked how long i should stop for... He said at least until i left his office"

"I was watching a tv evangelist this morning and it made me realize how much I'm looking forward to the Rapture. Yeah, I can't wait until all these ""Christians"" are gone."

"Why was the snowman's dog called Frost? Because Frost bites."

"There's a serial killer in our house! Normal people: ""CALL THE POLICE, LETS GET OUT OF HERE!"" - In movies: ""Lets go find him"" -___-"

"*re-dials* Hey girl, before I come over, did you say you were in a jacuzzi or the yakuza?"

"Women only need 3.5 inches to achieve maximum pleasure... it's called a credit card."

"I tried to become a proctologist but it was a real pain in the ass."

"Have you seen the new movie about Auschwitz? The plot was interesting but actors could have put more soul into their characters. It was a hollow cast."

"Democrats do much of their shopping at Target and Wal-Mart. So do Republicans but they don't admit it."

"Two babys at the birth ward... ...one baby says to the other.""i'm a boy"" to with the other reply:""how do you know?"". the first baby pulls the blanket to the side and says:""look i got blue socks on"""