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Joke of the Day

"Why'd the toilet feel abused? Because it took a lot of shit."

"I thought my daughter was studying oceanography It turns out she was just a C student"

"I just bought bunk beds. The other night I brought a date home. She said, ""I'll get on top."" I said, ""Great, I'll get the ladder."" She said, ""You sure think a lot of yourself, don't you?"""

"What do you call a man with a fetish for US currency who works on a dairy farm? A quarter-pounder with cheese."

"Why was the jacket stinky? Because it was a windbreaker."

"I'm no sadist. Some of my best friends are sad."

"What do Jesus and a nerd have in common? Both are long-haired, live at their parents' till their 30's, and if they'll do anything, it is considered a miracle."

"Did you hear about that synthetic type of weed they made using dog hair? Instead of k2, they call it k9."

"How do you get a whale off a beach? A whale-barrow!"

"Every spider has the same powers as Spiderman, yet none of them choose to be superheroes. This is everything you need to know about spiders."