126183

Joke of the Day

"Dating is a lot like parking All the good ones are taken. The rest take a bunch of effort or are handicapped."

"What idiot called it British conjoined twins and not chapstick?"

"""Let's blast some Jack Johnson and call each other Broseph and dump our girlfriends with a text."" -Dudes who wear salmon colored jean shorts"

"[1773] ""Your majesty, last night some angry colonists dumped our tea into the Boston Harbor"" *three English ladies faint* WTF THIS MEANS WAR"

"Men are like pillows. Eventually even the best ones get soft and lumpy."

"Don't forget to wear your best clothes to church because Jesus was all about one-upping your neighbour with fancier duds."

"Did you guys hear about the butcher who backed up into his meat grinder? I hear he got alittle behind in his work"

"Kim Davis's Daughter was Fired by the SPCA She wouldn't feed the strays"

"What did the blondes mom say to her before leaving for a night out? If you're not in bed by one come home."

"Did you hear about the 13th century french dog that was a saint?... St. Bernard. Hiyooooooo."