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Joke of the Day

"Why is American Beer like making love in a canoe? Because it's fucking close to water. ^(Source: The Philosophy department of the University of Wallabaloo.)"

"I got a hundred dollar bill tattooed on my dick So my wife can blow all the money she wants"

"Yo momma's so mean she has no standard deviation"

"Why did the Wright brothers turn their aircraft 90 degrees west when their dad walked in the cockpit? because three Wrights make a left."

"Homeless dude asked me for $10. Thought it was greedy but realized that we were standing outside Whole Foods. Totally legitimate request."

"Why was the Pepsi crying while lifting weights? Because he was soda-pressing"

"Q: Why is Chelsea Clinton a miracle child? A: Because lawyers use their personalities for birth control."

"Did you hear about the skeleton that couldn't go to the party? He had no body to go with!"

"The square was killed 10 minutes ago... The killer must be a-round"

"I raped myself today. It sucks being a schizophrenic hermaphrodite."