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Joke of the Day

"Homeless dude asked me for $10. Thought it was greedy but realized that we were standing outside Whole Foods. Totally legitimate request."

"What do you call a constipated German? far-from-poopin"

"Waiter waiter! There's a dead fly in my soup. Oh no! Who's going to look after his family?"

"Teacher: What is the unit of energy? Students: Yes!"

"Facebook is like jail, you sit around and waste time, write on walls, and get poked by people you don't know"

"I'd tell you a joke about UDP... but I'm not sure you'd get it."

"What do you get when you cross an owl with a bungee cord? My ass! HAHAHAHA!"

"Why can't PC gamers use Uber? Too many incompatible drivers."

"Your momma is so fat that her measurements are 26-34-28 and her other arm is just as big!"

"I knew my camping holiday was doomed when I saw the people at the next pitch struggling with a torn ground sheet and bent pegs. It was a portent."