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Joke of the Day

"Me: waiter, do you have frog legs? Waiter: of course monsieur Me: good, hop over there and get me a beer"

"A man was found dead in a vat of falafel condiment. Police are treating it as a hummuscide."

"Where did the pilgrims land when they came to America? On their feet!"

"How do you sell a chicken to a deaf man? (pause....) WANT TO BUY A CHICKEN??!! (SHOUTING)"

"An old Chinese saying: If the dog is barking, you didn't cook it enough."

"Maybe I'd bother with cologne if my natural scent didn't make even elderly women violently ovulate."

"Everytime I play Monopoly I get this dad joke. http://imgur.com/bbMl41W"

"Do you want to know how to keep a dummy intrigued? I'll tweet it tomorrow."

"Why did the semen cross the road? Because it was my first wank in two weeks."

"If there's one thing I know about Mexican stand offs... In the end, there can only be Juan."