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Joke of the Day

"I just found a halloween candy on my lawn and ate it. So I guess I AM able to live off the land if I ever needed to."

"Why was the picture acquitted of the charge for murder? Because it was framed."

"Why did the lollipop cross the road? ... Cause it was stuck to the chicken. I heard that on the radio today. I LOLed."

"Bernie Sanders The real reason Bernie Sanders went to the hospital because he looked at his poll numbers Berning up. Doctors have said that he must have felt the BERN."

"Why's the little boy scarred for life after going to buy his mom some earrings? He went to Jared."

"exactly 14 yrs ago today, I pointed at a beautiful woman & said ""that's the girl I'm gonna marry one day"" but it turned out to be a lamppost"

"What's the Difference Between An Onion and a Baby I cry when I cut onions."

"My wife CLAIMS to be my best friend but she didn't seemed all that psyched when I bragged about this girl at work I just made out with."

"My boss accused me of not forwarding an email her way. I resent that."

"Finally getting around to shaving my legs, blow drying them kept taking to long."