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Joke of the Day

"The WORST trick the Devil ever pulled was trying to convince the world he wasn't fat by wearing a t-shirt in the pool."

"What's a hippie's favorite animal? An elk It has the E, the L, and the K. Would like to hear some more if you guys have any."

"Every husband is a farmer by default.. his survival solely depends on ""Agree""culture"

"Know why Chick-fil-A doesn't have a sandwich with two patties on it? because they don't want two chicks on top of each other! *RIMSHOT*"

"Which video game do Mexicans play the most? Borderlands"

"What do you call a man who has sex with his 9 year old wife? The holiest Prophet of Islam."

"I was walking through... I was walking through a graveyard on my way to work earlier when I saw a man crouched beside a headstone. ""Morning"" I said, he goes ""nah, just having a shit."""

"In a democracy, it's your vote that counts... ...and in feudalism, it's your Count that votes."

"I never give money to those Salvation Army people because I know they're just gonna spend it on more bells."

"When my boss is mad and takes it out on me, I do less work. Can't reward bad behavior with a positive response. Training works both ways"