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Joke of the Day
"What do you call a smug criminal going downstairs? A condescending con descending"
Next Joke
"I never understood movie scenes where they have to train assassins. just drop me in some hot climate, don't feed me and I'll kill everyone."
"Someone just asked my son what other type of fish do you like then? nnHe replied....chicken.nnnThank god he is good looking."
"Swim up bars combine my two favorite things. Drinking and peeing in hotel pools."
"How can you tell if a girls tinder profile is fake? They're attractive!"
"My abs are like tan(pi/2) They're undefined."
"60 Second Lover I think my girlfriend has fucked sixty one people before me. She calls me her sixty second lover ...."
"Meatballs have bread crumbs inside them. Meat plus bread means that a meatball is actually a sandwich."
"Did you hear about the theft at the babysitter convention? The police ended up searching every crooked nanny"
"Helium walks into a bar The bartender says, ""We don't serve your kind here"". Helium had no reaction."