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Joke of the Day

"Next time I see a dead deer on the side of the road, I'm gonna leave and come back dressed as Santa with a sign that says ""Help, need ride!"""

"So I used to date this graphic designer... We broke up because I caught her cheating. Writing hundreds of letters to some guy named Lorem Ipsum. What a creep, right?"

"An elderly Asian man goes to the eye doctor The doctor takes one look at his eyes and says ""Sir, I think you have cataracts"". To which his patient replies ""No i don't, i drive a rincoln rontinental""."

"What time do you go to the dentist? Tooth-hurty."

"[goes to sign up for course on how to handle bad news better] ""sorry, we're full"" [lights myself on fire]"

"I want to live in one of those countries where the lawmakers get into fistfights"

"nickel back joke If I had the world's most expensive nickel, then someone of class would actually want their nickel back."

"Why arent there any Socialist entrepreneurs? Seriously I dont know....."

"Whoever said money can't buy happiness didn't like things as much as I do."

"Why did the pirate date the mermaid? He thought finding X in her algebra would lead to booty."