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Joke of the Day

"Having your 7 year old son clean the toilet is pretty entertaining. He used Pledge. In other news I just slid off the toilet, into the tub."

"Q: How many Germans does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Ve are asking ze qvestions here! A: Two one to give the order that the bulb be changed and one to screw it in."

"Did you know Justin Bieber has an 8 inch cock? Yeah, but it's up his ass and it belongs to Usher"

"What did Melania Trump have on her Black Friday shopping list? A copy of everything Michelle Obama had on her list"

"Why can't you hear a pterodactyl use the restroom? Because the *p* is silent"

"It's not called PowerRamble. It's called PowerPoint, so please get to one."

"Clapping was invented by white people at concerts, because we have no idea what to do with our hands when we dance."

"My recipe for vodka-flavoured brats never caught on. It was the Absolut wurst."

"A Trump Irony How is Trump going to keep immigrants out if he can't keep protesters from crashing his rally?"

"News of Whitney Houston's death traveled with such speed. When I heard I couldn't help but crack up with emotion. She was a real heroin. It's such a blow. She really made a hash of things though."