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Joke of the Day

"Show me a prostitute that is happy being paid in information about past events... ...and I'll show you a whore that'll go down in history."

"I tried convincing my melon-loving girlfriend to run away with me. But she told me she Cantaloupe."

"Did you know, if you cut off your left arm, your right arm would be left."

"Q: What is a blonde doing when she holds her hands tightly over her ears? A: Trying to hold on to a thought."

"Don't invest in SeaWorld It's really starting to tank"

"I'm a religious man living in Colorado, and I'm starting a marijuana business. I'm calling it Holy Smokes."

"What is One Direction's favorite place to eat? Five Guys"

"What's the stupidest prank someone tried pulling on you? My sister just told me she was pregnant and I was the father. Does she really think I'm that dumb? I'm 100% sure she's on birth control."

"What is a pirates favorite letter? Arrrr, but his true love be the sea"

"Que dijo un mar al otro? ola"