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Joke of the Day

"Did you know, if you cut off your left arm, your right arm would be left."

"My Somalian friend asked me the other day... If I had ever tried Somalian food. ""No, I've never had any,"" I said. ""That's all right,"" he said, ""neither have Somalians."""

"[Cannibal Restaurant] Waiter: Need anything else? Cannibal: No, I'm stuffed. I can't even finish this. Could I get a body bag?"

"A polish guy goes to the ophthalmologist Doctor: Can you read this? C Z J W I N O S T A W C Z Polish: Read? I know that guy!"

"What do ducks do at Christmas time? They duckerate cookies."

"I decided to stand on my left foot when the clock reached twelve tonight So I could start the year off right"

"There are two kinds of people in the world Those who can extrapolate from incomplete data"

"The best kind of love is experienced when the person who touches your ass also touches your heart."

"Daddy, what do you think about abortion? Dad: ask your sister. But I don't have a.."

"A roofer is working on a house and makes a mistake and falls through the ceiling and into the house. One of the guys inside says, ""nice of you to drop in."""