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Joke of the Day

"Did you know, if you cut off your left arm, your right arm would be left."

"Needing to ""loose"" some weight this year isn't your biggest problem, my friend."

"Someone rang me up today and tried to sell me a coffin. I said that's the last thing I need."

"I can't believe I forgot to go to the gym today. That's seven years in a row now."

"Did you hear about the wrestler who was beaten by a vampire? He was down for the count"

"What's the difference between oral sex and anal sex? One makes your whole week, the other makes your hole weak."

"Just put 3 sugar cubes in my tea, and by sugar, I mean xanax, because sugar is really bad for you.."

"Hey Jerry Sandusky! What's the best thing about sex with twenty nine year olds? There's twenty of them!"

"*too embarrassed to buy condoms**buys 3D printer**makes gun**robs condom factory*"

"[team dumps Gatorade on head coach after victory but head coach just happens to be the Wicked Witch of the West] COACH: you idiots *melts*"