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Joke of the Day

"Did you know, if you cut off your left arm, your right arm would be left."

"I got a bracelet that posts where I ran, and how far to facebook, and I put it on a deer. So it just looks like I'm lost in the woods."

"Do you know how Rihanna can tell when Chris has been cheating on her? He has someone else's lipstick on his knuckles."

"Yeah, no, I don't have a FitBit. I'm pretty sure I have a solid grasp on how inactive I am. I don't need like bells and alarms and stuff."

"What do you do when your wife is blocking view of the TV? Go to the kitchen and shorten her chain."

"What company spent over $6.2 billion in buying Viagra? Microsoft"

"What's black and eats pussy? Cervical Cancer"

"Here's a funny joke... Civil Forfeiture."

"Duck Joke Q: Why did the duck go to jail? A: He was selling quack."

"Why would you pay $80 for a bra at Victoria's Secret when I can hold your boobs up all day for free."