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Joke of the Day
"As the officer approached my car I took a big pull of helium from the balloon and started crying"
Next Joke
"LPT: If a sexy hot girl adds you on Facebook... REJECT HIM!!!"
"You don't have to seduce me with restraining orders and joyrides on the hood of your car, you had me at. ""No, I was waving at my friend."""
"No Soap. Radio!!!"
"I was in a bar the other day... and I saw a man trying to chat up a cheetah. He was trying to pull a fast one."
"A man cheats on his girlfriend named Lorraine with a girl named Clearly. Suddenly, Lorraine died. At the funeral, the man stands up and sings, ""I can see Clearly now, Lorraine is gone."""
"When someone uses an elipsis at the end of a text message I assume they fell off a cliff."
"You know how when you're a kid you think your dad is Superman.. Then you grow up and realize that he's just a drunk with a cape."
"What do you call a queue of boxers? A punchline."
"Chuck Norris has never been in a fight, ever. Do you call one roundhouse kick to the face a fight?"