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Joke of the Day

"What has two wings and a halo? A Japanese phone, Wing wing, ""Halo?"""

"Earth got put in Milky Way Special Ed for being bi-polar."

"I accidentally touched the underside of a public toilet seat with my finger. Well, you had a good run, finger. *chainsaw sound*"

"I told my dad I lost my virginity... He said ""You were on bottom?... Then you really fucked up""."

"How can you tell a male dinosaur from a female dinosaur? Ask it a question. If he answers it's a male; if she answers it's female."

"Did you hear about the woman who's addicted to lipstick? It's so crazy, it's something nobody could makeup!"

"What's the difference between jeweler, a cut down tree, and a sea captain? A sea captain watches the seas, while a jeweler sees the watches."

"My goal weight is not having to take selfies from such a high angle."

"Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the parking lot."

"Son's earring Dicks up my ass"