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Joke of the Day

"On Thursday, a user posted the joke ""Jesus""... ..which was quickly buried.... It's been 3 days, has anyone seen it ???"

"Once a grizzly bear threatened to eat Chuck Norris. Chuck showed the bear his fist and the bear proceeded to begin eating itself, as it was the less painful way to die."

"A recruit examines the food served to him in the batallion dining room. - Do I have any choice here he asks a sergeant. - Yes you do. You may eat it or not."

"I like my whiskey like I like my women 18 years old and all mixed up with coke"

"Remember, kids: Never get in cars with strangers unless you've used an app to select a specific stranger to drive you around in their car"

"Officer: Soldier do you have change for a dollar? Soldier: Sure buddy. Officer: That's no way to address an officer! Now let's try it again. Soldier do you have change for a dollar? Soldier: No SIR!"

"Why was the broom late? Because it overswept."

"I got accused of date rape once in college, but that's ridiculous. It wasn't a date."

"""This is OnStar. How can we assist?"" ""What are you wearing?"" ""Do I need to get a supervisor?"" ""Like a threesome? Is that part of my plan?"""

"Why don't atheists use exponents? Because they don't believe in higher powers."