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Joke of the Day
"I like my whiskey like I like my women 18 years old and all mixed up with coke"
Next Joke
"I came out of the gym the other day and someone asked me, ""How have you got that body?"" I said, ""I don't know officer, I just opened the boot and there she was."""
"I hate how people treat amputees differently. Just because they're missing a limb or two doesn't make them any less of a person."
"Hey, old people! Less driving, more dying. Thanks!"
"How do you burn a lot of calories at once? Douse a fat person with gasoline and light a match"
"I went to the taxidermist yesterday... I asked him how many bags of sawdust it will take to stuff my deceased flamingo and pig. He said, ""Two in the pink and one in the stink""."
"What goes above the water and below the water but doesn't touch the water? An egg in a duck."
"I once dated a Welsh girl with 36 DDs. Longest surname I've ever seen."
"Tear gas is the saddest gas."
"A doctor gave a man six months to live ... ... The man couldn't pay his bill, so he gave him another six months."