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Joke of the Day

"""This is OnStar. How can we assist?"" ""What are you wearing?"" ""Do I need to get a supervisor?"" ""Like a threesome? Is that part of my plan?"""

"Why did the cowboy get a Dachshund? Because he wanted to get a loooong little doggie."

"If the camera adds ten pounds.. Do African kids even exist?"

"Did you hear about the guy who landed in the hospital after shoving 8 plastic toy horses in his butt? His condition is stable."

"British English will have only 3 vowels now A I O They left E U"

"Did you hear about the Nirvana tribute act? They played some original songs yesterday. One was called 'Smells Like Kurt's Spirit'."

"Why did a surgeon go to prison? His medical license was doctored."

"LISTEN LADY IF YOU DIDN'T WANT ME SITTING ON YOUR BABY YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE CALLED ASKING FOR A BABYSITTER"

"What is the sharpest thing in the world? A fart. It will cut through your pants and not even leave a hole."

"Why shouldn't you buy trousers from northern Ukraine? Chernobyl fall out."