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Joke of the Day
"Breaking up on Twitter: It's not @you it's @me."
Next Joke
"Reasons why i never let my girlfriend touch my iPhone. 1) I don't have iPhone. 2) I don't have a girlfriend."
"I hate when I'm cruising in my convertible, hair blowing in the wind, then realize I'm just sitting on my ride-on lawnmower. Drunk. Again."
"[Jesus entering surf contest] Judge: What type of board will you be riding? Jesus: [looks at feet] They're using boards?"
"Just ripped a fart that sounded like someone sneezing while submerged in pudding."
"Fisherman: What are you fishing for sonny? Boy: I'm not fishing I'm drowning worms."
"Christian pop music? You mean holy shit?"
"What kind of file makes a hole bigger?? A Pedophile"
"I have a Taiwanese friend who is is incredibly rude and bossy He has a strong Taipei personality"
"Here, have my marionette set. ""Cool. How much for it?"" Just take it ""For free? What's the catch?"" No strings attached. ""You son of a bit.."""