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Joke of the Day

"Just ripped a fart that sounded like someone sneezing while submerged in pudding."

"What is the most independent kind of cheese? Prov alone."

"Did you hear about the stupid woodworm? He was found in a brick."

"There's a new video game called Earthquake coming out. I heard it's groundbreaking."

"why netflix and chill? Because amazon and chill has 1 day delivery."

"To avoid butterflies in your stomach, don't eat caterpillars."

"Whenever you're mad at someone, just take a deep breath and count to 10. Those 10 seconds will give you time to think of the perfect insult."

"When I know I've posted a great tweet, I walk away from my phone in slow motion like I'm Jason Statham walking from an explosion."

"Did you hear about the fish addicted to worms? He got hooked."

"There are probably fewer bees around now because a lot of them are still in prison for murdering Macaulay Culkin in My Girl"