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Joke of the Day

"Just ripped a fart that sounded like someone sneezing while submerged in pudding."

"Two men came to the door asking if I'd found Jesus. I said ""Hell no. I don't want to have to spend my weekends bothering people at home."""

"When people see ghosts, why aren't they naked? Do clothes die and become ghosts too?"

"The worst thing about admitting you're an alcoholic is that people will expect you to stop drinking."

"Captain Morgan and Cap'n Crunch awkwardly chat at their naval college class reunion."

"How good are the showers at Auschwitz? They're to die for."

"Since I have a lot of exams next week... I decided to buy a Seahawks jersey. That way, I'm sure to pass even if I shouldn't"

"What's the difference between a Mexican and a computer? You only have to punch the information into a computer once."

"so my brother noticed that his church uses girls as ""altar boys"" i had to tell him that not all priests are gay."

"I'm a theist I would be atheist, but I left a space for God."