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Joke of the Day

"[ocean's 11 music] So here's the plan,we iron me flat, then slide me into an ATM via the card slot. Once inside, it's a cash playground boys"

"Christian pop music? You mean holy shit?"

"All night long I dreamed that I was a pumpkin. When I woke up, my sister was pregnant."

"This girl told me she was saving herself for Jesus I said Jesus probably isn't going to fuck you."

"Al Gore should have had a band named The Algorehythms. Courtesy of my dad at lunch today."

"The dentist just said I need a crown, so I jumped up and yelled, ""I'm king of the dentists!"" The nitrous made it funny."

"""The police are looking for a man with one eye named Murphy."" ""What's the other eye called?"""

"Why did the one handed man cross the road? To get to the second hand shop."

"roses r red violets r blue sunflowers r yellow i bet u were expecting someting romantic but no this is just gardening facts"

"I was going to post a really cheesy pun but there was just no whey."