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Joke of the Day

"I avoid all spoilers for the new Star Wars movie. I won't watch the trailers and... I refuse to watch the movie itself as to stay spoiler free for the rest of my life."

"Me: Hello, my name is Vikki and I'm an alcoholic. Operator: Ma'am, this is AAA. Me: I know. I'm an alcoholic and now my car is in a ditch."

"Whiteboards are amazing! They're just so remarkable!"

"Where did the Candian pirate live? Ont**ARR**io"

"Obama calls Putin Obama: ""Hey! What are you going to have for Thanksgiving dinner?"" Putin: ""Turkey"""

"Why couldn't the lifeguard save the hippie? He was too far out."

"A horse walks into the bar Several people left because they realised the possible dangers of that situation."

"I wonder if Bruce Wayne ever wears a Batman t-shirt."

"Idea for a male strip club: Call it the Rock Hard Cafe... I think the rest is self explanatory."

"9/10 Redditors are idiots I'm glad to be the 1%"