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Joke of the Day

"My mate was devasted when a stunning Syrian lady stopped messaging him on a dating site . I told him don't worry there's plenty more refugee's in the sea"

"A guy goes to his doctor, and the doctor tells him, ""You've got to stop masturbating."" And the guy's like, ""Wait, why?"" The doctor reploes, ""So I can examine you."""

"Your mama's so fat We are all genuinely concerned about her health."

"Two lorry's crashed into each other, one containing terrapins the other containing tortoises... It was a turtle disaster."

"I used olive oil for sex last night. Popeye was furious when he found out."

"Lindt Chocolate are to make a new Chocolate bar to commemorate the terrorist attack on its cafe in Sydney It will be called allahu akBAR"

"Two ninjas were having an argument Two ninjas were arguing over which one was the better ninja. The first says, ""Man, you can't even throw a ninja star."" The second ninja says, ""Shuriken."""

"What has two legs and bleeds a lot? Half a dog."

"The biggest difference between men and women is what comes to mind when the word ""facial"" is used."

"My ex claimed I had a 'hero' complex, but whatever I think wearing my underwear on the outside of my pants is a bold & brave fashion choice"