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Joke of the Day

"My german shepard doesn't like dog food, so we have that in common."

"Why were the yearbook students expelled? They shot the whole school."

"I want to live the kind of life that when St. Peter looks over my list of sins he gives me a high-five before he sends me to hell."

"Why did the cannibal leave the restaurant? Because he got cold feet."

"I blew a speaker in my car today yea, he was motivational speaker, it left a bad taste in my mouth but I've been feeling a lot more positive ever since."

"There's a little ""I'm jealous"" in every ""whatever."""

"Did you here about the guy who turned to Scientologists to escape his past? Out with Xeold, in with Xenu! :P"

"What do you get for stealing a slut's vegetables? Herpeas."

"Reddit is like my Mom If it sucked, I probably wouldn't be here."

"I'm on the snake diet. It's the one where you lie on the floor all day, eat 25% of your body weight, and hiss at anyone who comes near you."