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Joke of the Day

"Honk if you love Jesus. Text while driving if you'd like to meet Him."

"Muffins - for people who don't have the guts to order cake for breakfast."

"Expected delivery while I was out so left courier a note saying ""Please leave with neighbour"". I've just seen them heading off together."

"Hey Babe Hey babe. Are you a piece of art? Because I'd love to nail you against a wall."

"Did you hear about the agnostic insomniac with tourettes? He was up all last night wondering if there is a cunt."

"We All Love To Hate Them But... Let's Hear Your Dad Jokes. We love to hate them ( secretly of course) But let's hear the worst ones you come to hear in your life."

"ATTENTION LADIES: I will now be downgrading expectations from someone I can love to someone I can tolerate. Act now while this amazing deal still lasts!"

"Most boots are made for walkin'. Chuck Norris' boots ain't that merciful."

"What do you call someone who takes things literally? A kleptomaniac!"

"I have a hard time believing an auto dealer really wants my business if their entire lot isn't covered in the shade of helium balloons."