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Joke of the Day

"QUESTION: Name the loser in the 1976 presidential race. ANSWER: The American people."

"I recently watched my wedding video backwards. I love the part where I take the ring off her finger, leave the church and go drinking with my friends."

"Every cab driver I've ever had seems like he killed thousands of people in his homeland."

"I've perfected an AI as a substitute to a girlfriend. Every time I try to turn it on I get the silent treatment and there are no output to tell me what's wrong."

"Engineers What is the difference between mechanical engineers and civil engineers? Mechanical engineers build weapons. Civil engineers build targets."

"i feel like this year's fibonacci conference will be as big as the last two combined!"

"What did one gay pedophile say to the other at the beach? Get out of my Son"

"5yo: if superman & batman had a big fight, superman could throw him into space where he'd suffocate'. I'm raising a problem solver you guys."

"What would Abraham Lincoln say if he found out there was a movie about him slaying vampires? What's a movie?"

"[1692 Salem] ""BURN THE WITCH"" U HAVE A CROOKED NOSE, WITCH ""No, Frank, at the stake"" [quickly lighting torch] Right, I knew that."