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Joke of the Day

"I entered a contest to win a car, but ended up winning a phone It was Nokia, but it was still a great prize."

"[Police sketch artist job interview] ""How am I not qualified?"" Your resume is a stick figure and a poorly drawn igloo ""It's a cat actually"""

"Tutorial: How to make sure your Reddit post blows up Ill tell you if this reaches 50 upvotes edit: ~~added joke~~ update"

"Why does it take pirates so long to learn the alphabet? Because they could spend years at C."

"Setting up a Moses business would be simple except for one setback... Staff problems."

"Jimmy, your composition ""My Dog"" is the same as your brother's. Did you copy his? No, sir. It's the same dog."

"So I was listening to some old-school French rap the other day I think the group was called the Oui-Tang Clan"

"What do you call these cats? What do you call a pile of cats? A meowtain."

"What did the burglar say to the lady who caught him stealing her silver? I'm at your service ma'am."

"What do you call a starving robot from space? A C3POpian"