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Joke of the Day
"Why are dogs always thirsty? Because water fountains were designed for humans! HEYOOOOOOO"
Next Joke
"Happy Hints To brighten your day, instead of going to the gym, go to Walmart You will feel a lot better about yourself"
"Very few people can brag about getting a handjob from their barber after a haircut nowadays. Then again, very few people cut their own hair."
"Awful pun I came up with whilst drunk last night. Who is the Australian Frankesntein's favourite singer? Rihanna, mate."
"So what if I don't know what Armageddon means? It's not the end of the world"
"Ur hot plz marry me. *no reply* OH MY GOSH SORRY FOR THE POCKET TEXT LMAO"
"Why would atomic weapons be useless against Turkish rebels? Because roaches can survive nuclear radiation."
"*at a restaurant* Don't be awkward, don't be awkward Waitress: how's the food? Me: yes"
"I'm offering a $1,000 reward to anyone who brings me $1,000 and two tacos."
"Do you know why I hate drinking with blind people? They can't handle their liquor--They always black out"