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Joke of the Day

"If your parents say, ""You can be whatever you want to be when you grow up"", remind them that they'll have to die for you to be Batman."

"What do you get if you put 5 lesbians and 5 politicians in the same room? 10 people who don't do dick."

"Did you know that beer contains female hormones? It's true. You drink too much you get fat, get emotional, talk too much, cry, and you can't drive a car. All apologies to the fairer sex."

"I believe Unicorns were the first to call each other dickheads."

"What is Stevie Wonder's favorite key to play in? C minor"

"I want ""Wake me if anything cool happens"" on my tombstone."

"Coffee- LET'S DO THIS SHIT Weed- Don't be ridiculous"

"There are two types of guys. Those who eat pussy and those who lie they don't eat pussy."

"How does a Muslim close a door? Islams it!"

"All the king's horses and men stand over Humpty. Puzzled, they go back to reading the IKEA instructions."