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Joke of the Day

"I like the phrase ""I wasn't born yesterday"" because it emphasizes the fact that babies are stupid."

"This vegan I met said she knew me But I'd never seen herbivore"

"Never trust a woman who takes pictures from the neck up."

"*arrives in hell* *Hey Ya starts playing* haha nice love this song *song ends* ... *Hey Ya starts playing* wait no"

"Anybody here named Jeff? Jeff: Yes Geoff: Yeos"

"I've had the clap so much that it's turning into applause."

"If you are charged with possession of marijuana Is it called joint custody?"

"How about I slip down your chimney, at half past midnight?"

"Why did Helen Keller's dog kill himself? You would too if your name was MMMHHHUUHH"

"I've always said that life is a lot like doing laundry There's a lot less bleeding if you separate the colors from the whites."