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Joke of the Day

"Pessimist : The glass is half empty Optimist : The glass is half full Feminist : The glass is being raped"

"Whats the fastest way to a women's heart? A Knife"

"A snake walked into a bar... ...and everybody freaked out!"

"Omg. The WiFi went off a minute ago so my kids came out of their rooms. They're getting so tall!"

"Engineers are sexual intellectuals or in other words... Fucking know-it-alls"

"What is the difference between homeless and vodka? Vodka does not freeze"

"[NSFW] What's the difference between acne and a priest ? Acne waits until you're 14 to come all over your face"

"What does trail mix have in common with a nursing home? They're both filled with nuts"

"Apparently typos only become visible to the human eye AFTER you hit send."

"What's the difference between a jew and pork ? Cooking time."