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Joke of the Day

"What falls down faster from a tree, a leaf or an emo? A leaf. The rope catches the emo."

"Why didn't Pinocchio make it thru puberty? He caught on fire."

"I say ""Hey man, I got your back."" He thanks me until he collapses from being spineless. I give his back to an infant. ""Baby got back."" I say"

"A Thursday night ""Just got Paroled!"" party down the street! Wooooo! HELL YEAH!! I'm gunna wear my best knife for this one y'all!"

"An emo vampire probably bites himself."

"Did you hear about the new movie about the Nazi with a speech impediment? Schindler's Lisp"

"They just found a Black guy hanging from a tree with 79 stab wounds in Alabama.... The police say it's the worst case of suicide they've ever seen"

"I shouted ""the blue Subaru with an Obama sticker left its lights on!"" at Mt. Bachelor and had the *entire* hill to myself for an hour"

"What did the guitars do when they were unhappy with their government? Formed a coustic d'etat"

"I don't trust this 'would you like cash back' bullshit. I'm trying to give you my money, but you're also trying to give me my money? Weird."