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Joke of the Day

"Where is the most ironic place to get a girl pregnant? Abortion clinic."

"Hey little kid in your adorable pink jacket: I'm no kidnapper, but if I was, you would be the one."

"Why was Selena Gomez suspended in elementary school? Because she couldn't keep her hands to herself."

"A father takes his son fishing Son: Dad, can you teach me how to catch fish? Dad: Sure, son! first you throw the clickbait into the water Son: What next? Dad: What happens next will shock you!"

"I'm tired of people telling me to turn off my lights to save the environment I did it once and killed a cyclist."

"Why are Lawyers buried forty feet deep when they die? Because deep down they're really nice people."

"[Bob Dylan giving singing lessons] I'd like you to sing it again, but this time plug your nose and put these 5 marbles in your mouth."

"According to old paintings, there's mad titties in heaven."

"A surgeon turns to his assistant, while operating, and says... ""Hey, it's the right or the left one?"" ""Are you serious?"" ""Just kiddneying!"""

"What did the Suicide Bomber think about the premature bomb Explosion ? Wow this blew up."