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Joke of the Day

"What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Being raped"

"When I was little, I didn't give a fuck about what to wear. My parents dressed me up. Looking back at some of my old pictures, it seems they didn't give a fuck either."

"Q.How can you tell when a Chicago Fireman is dead? A. The remote control slips from his hand."

"I asked my brother if he has a fetish for rivers... He's in denial."

"I stab myself a little bit every day to slowly build up an immunity to being stabbed to death."

"Reasons I think I might be a puppet vampire: 1. Ah ha ha! 2. Ah ha ha! 3. Ah ha ha!"

"What kind of bus can cross the ocean? A Columbus."

"Before I die, I'm putting fake treasure maps behind all my picture frames. My grand children will be so pwned."

"Science Joke :) Two scientists walk into a bar. Bartender: So what would you two like? Scientist 1: I'll have some H2O. Scientist 2: I'll have some H2O too. (H2O2)"

"Why did Princess Diana cross the road? She didn't wear her seatbelt."