124280

Joke of the Day

"Roses are red, my real name is Dave. This poem makes no sense, microwave."

"""Be there in 5,"" I text, though I am 30 minutes away, completely nude, and engaged in a fist fight with a neighbor."

"What do you call Zombie Japanese Chefs? the Woking Dead"

"Have you heard like 50% of Chinese people have cataracts? Yeah, I guess the other 50% drive ""rincoln towncah""."

"The detective knew exactly what the murder weapon was. It was a brief case."

"Reddit admins once ate a whole Pizza Hut."

"Just signed up to study abroad I heard she has absolute cans."

"CPR refresher class. We're told, ""If they're not breathing, there's no way you can make it worse."" Woman then trips; kicks dummy's head off."

"Who was the worst U.S. President of all time? Hoover, his administration really sucked."

"the best feeling in the world is when someone u hate tells a joke and nobody laughs"