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Joke of the Day

"I took the batteries out of my carbon monoxide alarm... ...the loud ringing noise from it was giving me a headache and making me dizzy."

"Mario & Luigi Mario :- Ey Luigi , whats this funny ol' image called. Luigi:- It a Meme , Mario"

"So I found out today that my diarrhea is hereditary It runs in my jeans Credit to /u/jdabarber"

"My gym instructor says that Warm-Ups are extremely necessary. So, I brought donuts along this time but I can't find the microwave oven."

"What made Gandalf spend most of his time in the Shire at brothels? Love of the Halflings' queef."

"How do you make a dog drink? Just throw it in the blender."

"When I grow up... Growing up I wanted to be a gynecologist. I could almost taste it."

"You can't spell feminism without men. Women are notoriously bad spellers."

"Why did the priest go to the gym? For muscle mass. I thought of this one in the shower this morning."

"""operation"" A: Doctor, will I be able to play the piano after the operation? B: Yes, of course. A: Great! I never could before!"