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Joke of the Day

"On your first day as a new parent, walk up to your baby and cry louder than it to assert your dominance."

"Pitbull is probably always the first person to hit ""Will Attend"" on a party evite."

"What do you call a large hairy gay man with no teeth? A gummy bear."

"fun prank: go observe the newborns at the hospital & if someone asks which is yours say ""I haven't decided yet"" while sobbing uncontrollably"

"Madonna fell while performing at a show yesterday. When asked about it, she said... ""All that time on my back reminded me of the 80's"""

"I ordered my latte wrong at that new gypsy coffee place and now my shadow is a horse shadow"

"The Largest Organ **Q:** What's the largest organ in the human body? **A:** That depends. If you've just swallowed a Steinway and a Wurlitzer, it's probably the Steinway."

"What is the British equivalent of wham-bam-thank-you-ma'am? ""Honey!"" [Nut] ""Cheerio!"""

"The stock broker said to his mistress I'm going to put everything I've got into rubber, and if it comes off I'll marry you."

"A female midget FBI agent went undercover to bust a drug gang by sleeping with gang members. She was known as the Little Fed Riding Hood."