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Joke of the Day

"The Largest Organ **Q:** What's the largest organ in the human body? **A:** That depends. If you've just swallowed a Steinway and a Wurlitzer, it's probably the Steinway."

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"Whenever I see someone pick up an avocado, feel it, and put it back I pick up that same avocado and whisper ""you're still beautiful"" to it."
"Kanye West shows up at Neil Armstrong's memorial service... and says ""Imma let you finish, but Micheal Jackson had one of the best moon walks of ALL TIME"""
"How many assholes does it take to change a lightbulb? It doesn't matter, mine itches so bad it's on fire, providing plenty of light for everyone in the room!"
"You haven't texted me since you went to bed. Are we ok?"
"Why are there so many Smiths in the phonebook? Because they all own telephones"
"Why are Peter Pan's jokes not funny? Because they Neverland"
"Eating a meal on an airplane makes me feel like a Tyrannosaurus rex who has to operate on a baby."
"A fish walks into a bar ..and the bartender asks, ""What can I get ya?"" And in a very raspy voice the fish says, ""WATER"""
"Two fish are in a tank... ...one says, ""You shoot, I'll drive!"""