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Joke of the Day

"I posted a joke via USPS... ...not sure if it was their fault or mine, but the delivery of the punchline was completely botched."

"I was grinding on a girl in a club last night and she said to me, ""Will you please take your skateboard and f#ck off!"""

"What did the computer do with his overgrown gardens...? Mowed 'em."

"Why do librarians like the wind? It says, ""Shhh!"" all day!"

"My teacher loves me - she puts kisses against all my sums."

"My kids are asking to be fed and cared for and stuff. This parenting thing is bullshit."

"Screamed in horror as I woke to find two severed horse heads in my bed, but then laughed remembering I hadn't removed the one from yesterday"

"Don't worry if you are spending the Christmas all alone because everyone will eventually die xD"

"Q: Why did Clinton waffle on military action in Bosnia? A: His area of expertise is dodging armed conflict."

"Life is like a penis. Simple, relaxed and hanging freely. It's the woman that make it hard."