123996

Joke of the Day

"Why couldn't anyone hear Hellen Keller scream? She was wearing mittens."

"[baby is bouncing in swing seat] I I wish I had one of those. HER DAD They bring great joy. I (to self) Oh, he thinks I mean a baby."

"There was a spider in my bathroom so I threw the cat at it. The spider is dead but the cat's pretty pissed"

"What do you call an elephant that flies ? A jumbo jet !"

"""Ducklings are baby ducks,"" I say as I set the appetizer on the table. ""Enjoy your dumplings, Ma'am."""

"Today I was given a box of Jamaican hair extensions.... It was dreadful"

"son: why is my name jesus dad: mom wanted to name u after a rolemodel other son: &me? dad: well Charizard the same reason but it was my turn"

"I must be looking extra good today because this dude with a backpack on the side of the road was giving me the big thumbs up. Thanks man!"

"What is the internal temperature of a taun taun? Luke warm!"

"What's the best thing a midget can catch? Air."