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Joke of the Day

"What do you call Abby who lives in the city? Downtown Abby"

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"I'm obsessed with the earth It's like my whole world."
"I'll push a loaded grocery cart around for 45 minutes -- but I WILL NOT spend 5 seconds pushing an empty one back to the return area!"
"Girl wins a watch ""Mom, the old man down the street told me that if I sucked his dick he'd give me THIS WATCH!"""
"How did the captain of the u-boat announce to his crew that there were no more passports to go around? This sub has officially run out of IDs."
"When people go underwater in movies, I sometimes like to hold my breath and see if I would survive in that situation. I died in Finding Nemo"
"I never give money to those Salvation Army people because I know they're just gonna spend it on more bells."
"Why did Hitler's SS soldiers love animals? They were all veteran aryans"
"Where do holy men sleep? Monk beds."
"Raising awareness: Pinatas create unhealthy expectations of levitating rainbow donkeys."