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Joke of the Day

"You know what they say about duct tape... It makes no..no..no sound like mh..mh..mh Credit to my coworker for that one."

"shoutout to all the objects in my perceptual field. u know who u are ;)"

"I know there's something wrong with my braille book... but I can't quite put my finger on it."

"Ladies, if all he does is make you cry then maybe you're dating an onion and not a man."

"Buy a ticket to Finding Dory and yell ""She's right there!"" every time she comes on the screen until you're escorted out of the theater."

"""I V E M U R D E R E D S E V E N P E O P L E"" would be a fun eye chart for a doctor to have"

"To be honest She: You cannot find another girl like me Me: I'm not looking for another one like you"

"Do I believe in climate change? Uhh yeah I believe... it DOESN'T EXIST AHH HAHA (a fiery gull falls out of the sky) HAhaha hey fire bird"

"What's the best thing about an Ethiopian? They'll always swallow"

"Where did Hitler keep his armies? In his sleevies. ^^^^Sorry"