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Joke of the Day

"I feel bad for kids who see toys on the television but can't order it cause their parents have to be over 18 to call.."

"My stoner neighbors got divorced but it's okay because they got joint custody"

"Why are there so many grammar Nazis on the internet? Because English majors have no jobs."

"One atom asks a hipster atom, ""Hey, did you lose an electron?"" The hipster atom replies, ""No, I'm just being ionic."""

"what did mick jagger say when he caught hugh hefner and dennis weaver in the bedroom together? hey, hugh, get off of mccloud."

"When I'm pushing the twins in the pram and someone asks me if they're mine I say 'no, they're for my collection' and run as fast as I can"

"New research shows there are no Ginger Bankers... Survey results suggested that although many wanted to work in finance, they wern't able to sell their soul to Satan..."

"Why did the spreadsheets get divorced? They just couldn't sort things out."

"Avoiding eye contact with co-workers is for rookies. Make eye contact and don't say anything as you pass"

"Why did the Boeing 747 crash into an orphanage? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread!"