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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between having a badly poured draft beer and having a child with Down's Syndrome? If the head's too big on your beer, you can blow it off."

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"New Show Magic Show Idea I'm going to start a magic show at a funeral home and call it Abra Cadavera Hour"
"Never give a baby alcohol unless you want him to go on and on about, ""the blacks."" Racist fucking babies."
"My toddler stole bacon off my plate. We all had a good laugh. Then I made her move out."
"I'm as conflicted as a strip club addict with a glitter allergy."
"Knock knock. Who's there? Panther. Panther who? Panther no panth I'm going thwimming."
"Bioluminescent fry said to have a bright future"
"I'm more pissed off than a midget with a yo-yo."
"What's the difference between a girl's track team and a pygmy tribe? One is a bunch of cunning runts."
"A found a dessert trying to sell me military secrets in my bed last night. It was an under covers pie."