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Joke of the Day

"<--- Tips cup back and lightly taps the bottom. Fifty pieces of ice fall out on face."

"Don't expect a ""bless you"" after the 4th sneeze...get your shit together."

"What time does Sean Connery show up at Wimbledon every year? About tennish."

"Today is Compliment Someone Randomly Day. And may I just say that this paper bag would go beautifully with that outfit you're wearing."

"Pro Tip: I'm not a pro. Don't listen to my tips."

"When geese fly in a ""V"" formation, do you know why one side is longer than the other? Because there are more birds on that side."

"What's the difference between a sausage dog and a market trader? One bawls his wares out on the street..."

"How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants? Juan by Juan."

"What do you call ill-mannered burst of strong wind in the desert? Darude Sandstorm."

"A popular Muslim wants into a new bar That place really blew up"