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Joke of the Day

"Son: ""Jim Morrison sucks"" Dad: ""Hey, what did I tell you about slamming The Doors?"""

"How many surrealists does it take to screw in a light bulb? A fish."

"What's the difference between Hillary Clinton and an onion? I'd cry if I cut an onion in half."

"what does a 9 volt battery and your girlfriend's arsehole have in common? Even though you know you shouldn't you give them both a lick"

"I just went to see the local police chief give a talk on heroin. I couldn't understand a word he said"

"My girlfriend says she enjoys sex more whilst on holiday. That was an awkward SMS to receive."

"What do you call a gay dinosaur? A Megasoreass"

"Jesus isn't one to get angry very often.. But I remember seeing him once looking very cross"

"What do you call a stoned, dyslexic crow? A hybrid"

"Why are aroused campers so extreme? I don't know, but they end up fucking in-tents (intense). Yes, it's a pun, but what else do you expect from me first thing in the morning."