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Joke of the Day

"When my wife pisses me off, I get on her Pinterest and pin lots of mediocre shit, like cupcakes that just look like cupcakes."

"How does NASA organize a party? They planet. Sorry."

"What do you can a pessimistic antelope? A cantaloupe"

"I need shocking, offensive, and disgusting jokes. I'm going back to school in a few days, so I need some fucked up jokes. Reddit Community give me your best."

"How is cribbage like anal sex? In both, scoring involves pegging."

"Why was the Queen of Horses hated by her subjects? Because she was too ahoof."

"What do you call a skinny Pakistani cow? A moo-slim."

"What do you get when you cross the Atlantic with the Titanic? Halfway"

"What's red and bad for your teeth? a brick."

"Can you lmb? person 2: what? lace my boots 2: ok I guess I can so you can lmb? 2: yeah I can lmb wait, you want to lick my balls??? wtf"