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Joke of the Day

"What's worst than finding a worm in an apple? The holocaust"

"My wife was complaining about how the washing machine was making a lot of noise lately. I told her to put a sock in it."

"What did the banana say to the vibrator? ""I don't know why you're shaking...she's gonna EAT me!"""

"Why did the momma pepper tuck in her baby? Because he was a little chili (Actually came up with this while making chili)"

"Why is Shakespeare bad at hunting? because he can't aim steadily"

"When are we going to change ""til death do us part"" to ""for the next five years"" ?"

"What's the difference between an African kid and an orange? Approximately 3 grams."

"Your girlfriend should never be jealous of another woman. Instead, you should do your best to make other women jealous of her."

"Promised myself that today I wouldn't steal anything, kill anyone or use any Meatloaf song lyrics in a sentence & two out of three ain't bad"

"I know someone that was frozen to absolute zero once. He was 0K."