191887

Joke of the Day

"I can't wait for the stage of capitalism where we have to watch a 15 second advertisement before we remember a memory."

"I hope I look half as good on my wedding day as I do on my divorce paper-signing day."

"What's the greatest gift you could give to a trashcan? A baby."

"the road to Failure is paved with Doritos."

"People who write hai and bai, wai?"

"I bought a fleshlight today My masturbation has gotten out of hand"

"Cane sugar is the best! It just can't be beet!"

"In the library: ""Excuse me, where are the books about paranoia?"" ""They are... right behind you."""

"I feel like when life gives me lemons I just give them back because I hate holding stuff."

"What do Hispanic midgets cut their pizza with? Little Caesar's"